Someone once said that the grass is not greener on the other side. And the grass is not greener on this side.
The grass is greener where you water it.
Not bad marital advice. Every time you dream about that girlfriend of yesteryear, or that high school sweetheart stirred up by seeing him/her on some social network, you are watering grass on the wrong side of the fence.
Let’s look at how to water the right side. One of our Essentials of a Healthy Marriage is Pursue Passion. When you pursue passion in your marriage you are watering your own grass. It sounds good, but just how do you do it? How does one water the grass of a 5, 10, 20 or maybe 30 year old marriage?
So glad you asked. Here are a few ideas that involve talking and doing.
1 – Pursue enjoyment. This might sound a little selfish but hang with me. Find things that you like to do together. Ask each other: “What is your favorite activity we do together?” Then carve some time out – get them on the calendar if necessary – and do those things. A marriage stays alive & fun by intention, not by default. Brainstorm, dream, explore together the fun things you enjoy as a pair. Who knows, a new activity might surface as well.
Not all of marriage is fun & games of course, however all marriages need some fun here and there. By identifying and doing activities you enjoy as a couple from time to time, you can keep your marriage from becoming stale. You’ll be watering the grass of your relationship!
2 – Pursue connection. Complete this sentence to each other: “I feel closest to you when ________”. You might have more than one thing to share. Then one at a time, do those things for each other to reinforce your togetherness. It’s not about keeping score but be sure to do something for both you and your spouse that you two have mentioned.
This is huge in terms of connecting in your marriage. You are a team and a team is only as strong as its security in each other. Doing that which makes your spouse feel closest to you is creating security, building confidence, and connecting.
3 – Pursue The Lord. We saved the most important for last. Pray together if you can. If not, then ask some questions pertaining to prayer and your relationship. Ask how you can pray for your mate today? Also, ask your mate to pray for certain concerns you may have. Pray for your spouse daily and let them know you are doing do. Ask the Lord what you can do today to be a better mate to your spouse.
At LifePoint Church we strive to point people to a Christ-centered life. It stands to reason that when both of you are making Christ the center of your marriage, it can only help solidify your marriage.
So water the grass on your side of the fence. Doing so can restore passion in your relationship while honoring The Lord. Talk about your win-wins!
Post from Rodney Wilson, LifePoint Marriages Pastor. Rodney has a passion for encouraging, counseling, and teaching men and women how to have great marriages that make Jesus famous. Rodney, and his wife Selma, have authored Extraordinary Marriage and The Parent Adventure. Rodney and Selma have two adult daughters, two son-in-laws, and in Rodney’s opinion the greatest grandson in the universe. You can connect with Rodney on Twitter and Facebook.